Tuesday, May 8, 2007

It hurts when they go back out...

I found out this morning that one of my ladies went back out to the street (that's how we say that she went back to her old life or that she back-slid). This isn't the first time that something like this has happened, actually it happens more frequently than I would like. But the thing is...it hurts me so bad when this happens. I know that I can't make the changes that need to be made for them - they have to do it themselves, but I almost always feel like if I had just tried harder or did something different or did something better that this wouldn't have happened. I pour everything I know into these women and I open my heart and my home to them and allow them to be a special part of my life. It hurts when that's just not enough. Some of the other volunteer chaplains at the jail told me that this gets easier as time goes by but honestly I hope I never get to the place that when someone turns from the things of God and goes back to darkness that it doesn't faze me. I know I am relatively new at this (I've only been a volunteer chaplain for 2 1/2 years) but I am so sold out to helping these women that it really does hurt my heart when they don't get it right away. I really do sincerely and genuinely love them and if I hurt this bad when this happens I can only imagine what it does to God's heart. I think of the time and effort He put into getting them to this point only for them to turn from Him but then I also think about how He immediatley gets to work on getting them back to Him. And when they do find their way back I think about how He will be waiting with open arms and the same unconditional love that He had for them before any of this happened. And that's how I will be too. I will continue to pray for every woman that has turned back and be eagerly anticipating her return. But until that day I will continue to do the work that God has called me to do at the jail and I will continue to believe the best of every woman down there...no matter how much it hurts when they go back out!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tomi,

Yes, it hurts. Life is full of hurts. It hurts when a child makes the wrong decision and pays the consequences. It hurts when someone you love and trust disappoints or says something that hurts you to the core. It hurts when you see a believer, who has been sitting under the Word, make a terrible choice/decision. It hurts when you see people in the world take others life for absolutely no reason. It hurts when you know people are dying everyday that have not made the choice to accept Jesus in their life. It’s not that you haven’t done enough, you’ve done all that you can do but people have choices.
God made us as a free moral agent, one with the ability to choose right from wrong. He doesn’t make those choices for us, we do. You’ve planted, pray that the seed will be watered because God will give the increase. Until there is a change of heart and a renewed mind, people will continue to make choices that we do not understand.
Don’t be hard on yourself; just continue to do what God has called you to do. Love them back into the kingdom and keep them in your prayers. Think about what a
pastor goes through, he/she ministers to a flock of sheep, loving, praying, and teaching them the Word, and they stray or go back to their old life. Yes it hurts but you just keep praying, loving and teaching. Don’t take it personal, just keep on doing what
you are doing, you will see fruit.

Deborah Brown

Tomi Cardin said...

Thank you so much Ms. Deborah! I agree with everything you said and I will continue to believe God for the increase. I will continue to plant, water and/or do whatever He tells me to do for these women. Thanks for your support and encouragement!

Anonymous said...

Tomi, both you and Deborah have given very much of yourselves for the Kingdom. I want to encourage the both of you that your labor will not, and is not in vain. Yes, there are hurts along the way, but I remember the scripture that tells us that with joy we draw from the wells of salvation (Isa.12:3). Min. Anthony N. Wade

Anonymous said...

Minister Wade,

Thank you for the encouragement. We as leaders need to, not only hear what you have
stated, but to encourage ourselves in the Lord and not look to other people. It gets hard but I’ve learned a very hard lesson lately that it’s not about me. I’ve planted for years and am at the point that I’m seeing fruit. Continue to pray and encourage, those on the front lines, your prayers and support are needed and appreciated. Thanks for all that you do, you and Donna are truly a blessing to me.

Deborah Brown